


The Taste of Despair

by monoinu (oswaldlucky)



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Basically he leaves you flustered, Copy Paste Cutscene, F/M, Human Monokuma, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Reader is the 16th student at Hope's Peak, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Takes place at the beginning of Chapter 2, Teasing, and biting but y'know, oooonly at the beginning though, unfortunately yes but that's the only way I could get context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-07-18 19:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7326874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswaldlucky/pseuds/monoinu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're one of the 16 "exceptional" students admitted to Hope's Peak Academy. At first it seemed like a shining opportunity...<br/>And then a terrible joke. The reality sunk in all too quickly with 3/16 of you already dead.<br/>You must kill someone and get away with it to graduate...<br/>All the stress of your situation is piling up on you, getting unbearable. No chance of escape besides killing someone... And who's to say you won't be killed before you could snap enough to take that chance?<br/>But hey...<br/>At least the headmaster's cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so yes hi hello, oswaldlucky/monoinu here with my first DanganRonpa oneshot!!  
> Hey, if you guys like it, maybe let me know so I can do more?  
> SOOO this takes place at the beginning of Chapter 2, where three people are already dead!  
> Sayaka, Junko, and Leon! The story starts right after the very first class trial.  
> And this is an AU where there's simply 16 students instead of 15, and you are it!
> 
> ~My human Monokuma looks like this (forgive my awful drawing):~  
> http://i.imgur.com/RFh4AJl.jpg  
> any fanart (if you so please) can be linked in the comments!!!  
> I'm excited to see what everyone's reaction to my story is!!

You walked into the kitchen, to find something to eat. You weren’t hungry, not at all, but you knew the others would get suspicious and worried if you didn’t eat.

Today was… one hell of a day. All in one day, Sayaka, Junko, and Leon… All gone. Dead, for one reason or another. Of course you couldn’t possibly be as upset as Makoto, but, still… You never even got the chance to know them. And that’s probably what hurt you the most. Three people, fellow students no less, all gone. People with friends and families, lives and hobbies, talents, personalities, people that would miss them. You could hardly take it.

This was going to continue, most likely, and soon you knew you would either be a victim… Or one of the blackened. There was no other way this could go; You knew that in your heart. No, not in your heart… In the back of your mind. Your heart felt hollow and empty. Despair had already overcome you. You would never escape here alive. You couldn’t bear to see the others kill each other, and eventually you…

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were going to die anyway… why not save everyone else the trouble?

Your eyes went to the knives up on the wall. Supposed to be for cooking, yes, but… Obviously they were there for other reasons as well. You walked up and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife there, held it pointed at your stomach…

And you froze. You weren’t sure why, but you were hesitant. Hesitant to end your “school life” here, to save yourself from just becoming subject to another class trial. To save someone else from being killed at your hands, potentially.

And yet, you hadn’t done it yet. One stab, and you would be gone. Bleeding out before anyone got the chance to help you. Thinking about it, you searched for any potential reason why. But it was a lot harder than you previously thought it to be.

Eventually though, you realized. They needed you here. You’ve always loved mysteries, and was a lot of help at the class trial. Nobody else has given up hope, why should you? You could be friends with everyone. Maybe keep any more murders from happening at all. Live that communal life Monokuma talked about…

Monokuma.

He was another reason why you should stay. He’s captured your curiosity; You want to know why he’s doing this. Why he seems to get off on murder. Why he looks the way he does, seriously, he has bear ears for crying out loud!

As your reasons for remaining alive flood your mind, you look at the knife in your hands, inches away from your stomach. Coming back to your senses in an instant, you jerked it away. What on earth were you thinking? Killing yourself wouldn’t solve any of this… And while sure it would end this killing game for you, that would just mean a higher chance of others getting hurt. Slowly, your arm moved to put the knife back up on its mount. Where it belongs.

Grabbing something to eat for dinner, filled with a new sense of hope, you left the kitchen and went to join the others in the dining hall.

**~ M O R N I N G, T H E  N E X T  D A Y ~**

You woke up at the same time you always did, to Monokuma’s morning announcement. It was always jarring, hearing his voice first when when you woke up…

Your feelings for Monokuma were…. Complicated. Ever since the very first day you got here, since you saw him for the first time, you were undeniably attracted to him. And since then, his personality has captured your heart as well as furthered your physical attraction… You had developed a full-fledged crush on him. And it was just getting worse with every passing day. You almost dared to say that you were falling in love with him.

Your tired thoughts almost made you miss the addition to the morning announcement.

 _“And oh, I nearly forgot- Please meet down at the gym at your earliest convenience! That’s all! See you there, and have a **great** day!”_ The camera showed Monokuma sitting in his chair in front of all the surveillance cameras, just like always. He had a bright, ear-to-ear smile on his face. He always did, pretty much. Most would find it creepy, most likely, but it really just intrigued you.

You got up, got dressed and cleaned up, and headed toward the gym, secretly having made sure that you looked your best for Monokuma. You arrived just before Makoto did, seeing Monokuma on a podium on the stage, doing exercises with Taka. Of course, everyone else was just standing around. Taka was the only one listening to him.

When the man on stage saw you and Makoto walk in, he brightened up even more from his already seemingly good mood. He straightened up from his last pose, face slightly red with exertion. “Ahh, doesn’t this just feel great?! Being stuck inside like this, you gotta make sure to stay healthy!”

“You’re the o-one keeping us ‘stuck inside’…” Toko cast a glare at the man.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff, that’s my motto!” Monokuma replied cheerily before a spark lit up his eyes. “Whoa, I sounded pretty cool just now, don’tcha think?” His gaze seemed to drift over to you, but you weren’t quite sure. _“Did you fall in love with me?_ Am I just to die for? Am I just to die in writhing agony for?” The way he said that first thing make your heart practically skip a beat.

 _Does he know?!_ You asked yourself, suddenly trying to keep yourself from panicking.

After that, everyone pushed to know why he called all of you to the gym that morning. Of course, he reprimanded them for rushing him and not taking time to relax and exercise, but he did get to the point. He explained that since they solved a murder and successfully completed a class trial, the second floor of the school was now open for them to explore to their heart’s content.

The next few days went by with hardly anything noteworthy happening. The library and the pool along with locker rooms were now open to them, but they were remarkably uneventful. Of course, Monokuma showed up and disappeared, his announcements came and went, and of course your crush simply grew stronger. One night, you even had a…. well, rather _lewd_ dream about him. But as you went back into your room at the near end of one day…

_**Ding dong, bing bong!** _

What you expected to be the nighttime announcement… well, wasn’t.

_“Ahem! School announcement, school announcement!_

_Nighttime is quickly approaching, but before it arrives…_

_All students, please gather in the gym immediately._

_Emergency! Emergency!”_

Confusion overtook everything else you could have been feeling at the moment, you quickly headed to the gym followed by everyone else. People started to argue about what Monokuma could possibly want, you really just couldn’t wait to see him. Even though he rarely talked to you directly, you still just loved seeing him.

Of course, you are worried about what he wants as well… But not nearly as much.

With a resounding yell of a response to one of your classmates, Monokuma showed up on his podium once again. He continued with the topic they were discussing before Kyoko urged him to get to the point of why he called them all here before nighttime.

“You don’t beat around the ol’ bush, do ya?! Ready for me to get to the point, huh? But… Before that, would you mind if I vent a little?”

Everyone seemed confused, but he continued on.

“I’m low on energy these days. My eyes are even losing all their shine and luster… I’m thinking, it’s probably because of this ho-hum, boring old everyday life. I’m looking for something with a little more stimulation, something rife with danger and intrigue! Listen, can I just be frank?” You as well as your classmates around you seemed confused, and taking this as a cue to keep talking, he did.

“The next blackened hasn’t shown up yet, and I’m getting booooored! So, I’ve decided to come up with a new way to motivate you!”

“M-motivate?” You hear Makoto speak beside you. “I-is it another set of videos or something? Are you gonna show us some demented thing to try and drive us all to murder?!” He was obviously more than upset about this, and honestly, you didn’t blame him.

Monokuma didn’t seem to like that at all. An angry expression crossed his face, his tone becoming harsh. “Drive you to murder?! What a mean thing to say! Just awful!”

Taka’s voice echoed through the gym next. “I don’t know what you’ve got planned, but we’re not going to kill each other anymore! No matter what you do, I swear to God we won’t!”

“Hmmm. That’s very big talk. Do your very best to back it up, okay?” Monokuma teased Taka, sending an amused smirk in his direction. He obviously knew this would work, no matter how much all of you hated to believe it, and in some cases, simply refused to. “Now then, with your permission, let me begin!”

Everyone became quiet, including you, who was just as curious as anyone else what “motive” Monokuma had planned for you all.

“So, this time it’s… _embarrassing memories and secrets!”_ He obviously was very excited for this one. “As long as you’re alive, it’s a given that there’s things you don’t want other people to know about you! So I did a little investigating of my own, and I dug up some of your darkest secrets!”

Oh, god, did that fill you with anxiety. What could he possibly have dug up about you? There was any number of things, you thought, so if he had to pick one… The worst one, most likely… Which one would he pick? How bad would it actually be?

Could this really be a proper motive to _kill?_

“And those embarrassing memories and secrets are all contained in the envelopes I have right here… I’m going to hand them out now, so take a second to take a peek!” And he did as he said, tossing the envelopes to everyone’s feet. When he got to yours, he… was that a wink? Oh god, what did he have on you that was apparently so bad?

You picked it up quickly, not knowing you could bend down and stand back up so quickly. You opened it quickly, anxiety filling your mind, heart, and body as you pulled out the paper inside…

“[Y/N] has a _huge_ crush on Headmaster Monokuma.”

Your entire body went rigid, every feeling draining from your body in an instant. As you stared at the paper, you were numb for several seconds. He knew. He knew, and not only that, he was willing to exploit it to everyone.

When you finally could feel again, you’re shocked and embarrassed. How did he know? …Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best question. More importantly, what did he think? Did he return your feelings? No, impossible, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Did he think you were ridiculous? Laughable? At any rate, he knew.

You suddenly became conscious of the world around you again, and to no surprise, you heard shocked and upset exclamations all over the room. Your eyes locked on to Monokuma. ‘How?’ You mouthed when you realized his gaze was locked on you as well.

_‘I just do.’_

Of course, as quickly as he responded to you, his attention tore away from you and expanded to everyone in the room again. “You have 24 hours! If someone doesn’t become blackened by then… all your deepest, darkest, most embarrassingest secrets will be exposed to the world! Maybe I’ll roll by a crowded intersection in a can strapped with loudspeakers and spill the beans!”

 _“Kyaaah!_ Wouldn’t that be sooo embarrassing?!”

“So that’s what you meant by motivate?” Makoto spoke up again, right next to you.

“Yup, you got it! They’re all pretty unpleasant, trust me. None of you want me to reveal that stuff, right?”

“It’s definitely something I’d rather people not know, but… we’d never kill over something like that!”

Almost looking mad, Monokuma spoke up again. “Wh-What’d you say!?”

“He’s right! Your plan is doomed to fail! No one’s gonna murder someone for this kind of thing!”

Monokuma’s expression shifted, and now he seemed… Sad? “O-oh no… Is it because… For better or worse, your memory is still a way to connect to the outside world? I have stuff I wouldn’t want anyone to know no matter what, so I assumed you’d all be the same… Which is why I put so much effort into preparing this next motive!” Monokuma turned around, still looking actually upset. “Maaan! You’re saying you really won’t kill each other over this stuff? That just sucks! ...Well, what can ya do?”

“…Okay, then in 24 hours, I’ll expose all your secrets just to make myself feel a little better!” He turned back around, frown etched onto his features for once. “So sad, so depressed! Farenotwell…!” With a rather convincing look of depressed dejection on his face, Monokuma left into the shadows of the gym. Everyone was now left to think about the entire situation.

“I didn’t know what to expect at first, but… maybe we dodged a bullet on this one. I mean yeah, having those secrets revealed is gonna be totally embarrassing. But that’s seriously not enough to give someone a reason to kill, right?”

Oh, god, you couldn’t wait until everyone heard about yours as they undoubtedly will.

After Taka suggested everyone just read what’s on their envelopes now, which you as well as many others rejected on the spot, everyone went back to their rooms for the night as the nighttime announcement played. You went back to yours, expecting to fall into a hopefully dreamless sleep, contrary to the… Less than decent dream you had about Monokuma the other night, when you walked into your room, you were met with a surprise.

Monokuma was there, sitting on your bed. Waiting for you.

“O-oh! Mr. Monokuma, I- “

“Now now [Y/N], there’s no need for formalities like that! Unless you’re into that sorta thing!” He chimes teasingly, with a smirk on his face. “If I remember correctly, you wanted to know how I knew about your, hmmm… Little crush?”

“U-uh… Yes…”

“Well! I know everything! I can tell how you get around me; I know about your dream the other night~ It wasn’t hard to figure out that you were falling hard for little ol’ me~”

You were silent now, blush burning on your cheeks as you stared at the floor, messing with your hands nervously. You heard him get up off your bed and walk over to you. “Is something wrong Miss [Y/N]~?” He purrs, coming closer to you. Your eyes shoot up to him, looking him in his eyes. They were sparkling with mischievous intent, and that caused a fire to ignite in the pit of your stomach.

“N-no, uh, nothing’s wrong Monokuma…”

“Are you scared that I don’t return your feelings~?”

“Wh-what?”

“You know; You really shouldn’t be worried about that~ Why wouldn’t I return your feelings~?”

Your heart lurched, hope sparking within it. “W-wait, so you…?”

Monokuma practically pressed his body up against you, his arms lacing around your waist as he leaned into your ear. _“I definitely wouldn’t mind taking you against my desk, hearing you scream my name would be an absolute delight~ You’re adorable, clever, attractive, and sweet~ And I would **love** to make you **mine~** ”_ He growls in a low, husky whisper into your ear, causing you to shudder in arousal. _“Would you like that, [Y/N]~?”_ Oh god, when he says your name like that, it makes your legs weak and heat grow between your legs…

“Y-yes, I would…” You reply breathlessly, gasping when you feel him lean down to brush his teeth against your neck. He places gentle, soft kisses against it at first, but then he bites down roughly, causing you to gasp, a moan quickly trailing it. _“O-oh god, Mr. Monokuma…”_

He lets out a lustful moan against your neck, it seems he enjoys hearing you say his name in pleasure. You couldn’t tell if the ‘Mr.’ part made it any better. Monokuma’s hands trail down your sides, resting on your thighs for a moment before squeezing your ass roughly. You moan again, before suddenly being muffled by his mouth over your own, kissing you roughly and passionately.

You return it immediately, your lust for him piloting your mind as you press yourself against him more. Squeezing your ass again, Monokuma uses the chance of your open mouth from moaning to slip his tongue in, pressing and rubbing it against yours. You tasted a citrusy, fruity alcoholic drink on his tongue as you pressed your tongue back against his, and honestly you loved it. The alcohol wasn’t too strong of a taste, and even if it was it was still Monokuma’s tongue and that made it worth it.

Just as your arousal continued to build, but not get exactly unbearable, Monokuma pulled away completely, starting to head toward the door. “Weeeeell, it’s nighttime, time for a certain little girl to be going to sleep, don’t you think~? I think I’ll be going now, goodnight my dear [Y/N]~ I’ll see you tomorrow~!” He flashed you a smirk before heading out your door, closing it behind him. You hear the click of the lock once he closes it.

Trying to shake what just happened from your mind, you figure you’ll head to your bathroom to splash cold water on your face… It was all too warm after that little…. Encounter.

You opened the door to your bathroom, but when you did, you saw something in your sink.

It was a plush of Monokuma, in his bear form. Just the perfect size for cuddling.

Blushing harder (you knew he was giving you this to tease you), you moved it aside for the moment to do what you came in here to do. Once you dried your face, you looked at the plush for a moment… Before picking it up and taking it with you. Getting ready for bed quickly, you soon curled up in bed.

You had a certain plush held tightly in your arms as you fell asleep for the night.

Dealing with your feelings can wait until tomorrow.


	2. NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER I'M SO SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note chapter! I know, we all hate those. That's not the point though.

Hey guys, monoinu/oswaldlucky here! I- first off- wanted to apologize for not updating this story in so long. I really really hope I can get the chapter I'm working on done as soon as possible for you guys!

Two things though, while we're here.

 

  1. Anybody have any ideas for future chapters? I don't have that many and I'd love to see what you guys would want to read next!! If you have any ideas go ahead and comment them down below!!
  2. Anyone up for being a beta reader? I'm a little rusty writing Monokuma, not to mention I want this to be as good for you guys as I can make it. If you're interested, comment down below or send me a message on my [tumblr!](http://glimmeringinred.tumblr.com)



And, I think that's all for now! Thank you and have a nice day, and don't forget to wear your seatbelt~!

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! Okay, that was fun as hell to write! Did'ja like it? Leave a kudos and maybe a comment if you did!  
> Was there something you didn't like? Let me know so I can improve!


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